


Find Your Purpose... Before its too late.

by DragonGirl420



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 02:57:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16232792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl420/pseuds/DragonGirl420
Summary: With the group since Grady Memorial, you struggle to find yourself acclimating to your new life in Alexandria, until Carol pushes to do something with your time and forces you to interact with the rest of the community.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song prompt: The Scientist by Coldplay / This was my very first attempt at Fan Fiction. Hard to believe it’s been a year already.

The dream came again; really it was more of a memory. Being held at the hospital in Atlanta had been awful. You were a prisoner, and even with all that happened to you there before the arrival of Beth, and then Carol, it was the day you met Rick and his group that was currently haunting you in your sleep; even sometimes during your waking hours.

Tossing in your sleep, your subconscious replayed the day when they showed up at the hospital to retrieve Beth and Carol. You were right behind Dawn’s group of cops when you watched as Beth dropped dead to the floor by way of Dawn’s gun. You hadn’t known Beth and Carol long, but you liked them; you even had helped Beth get the meds she needed to save Carol’s life. Watching the young girl die sent you into a deeper emotional hole than you were already in after being kept prisoner at the hospital for many, many months.

When another member of Rick’s group raised his gun and immediately shot Dawn in the head, you were paralyzed with fear. The sound of the two shots echoes throughout Grady, causing a loud ringing in your ears. It took a second, but when Rick spoke up saying anyone could join them, you didn’t hesitate.

You stepped forward and cautiously walked through the uniformed officers clustered around Dawn’s dead body. Half afraid that the man who shot her might turn to shoot you too, you held Rick’s gaze as he motioned for you to come to him.

“It’s alright,” he said as calmly as he could. His icy blue eyes were a wild mix of anger and sorrow, but never wavering from your own. Despite the tension in the air, Rick’s hand was steady as it took yours, guiding you behind him protectively. No one else came. All the others stayed in their respective doorways; mouths still hanging in shock as to what just happened.

You turned back to look at this group of strangers, armed with guns and looks of despair. Meeting Carol’s eyes, she looked at you with tears spilling down her cheeks and her lips trembling. Her gaze then cut back to the wild-haired man beside her with his weapon still raised. He finally lowered his gun and absent mindedly passed it to Carol. Bending down, Daryl picked up Beth’s lifeless body and slowly turned to leave the bloody corridor.

That’s how it ended every time. You didn’t jerk awake or feel afraid. Yours eyes opened slowly to a pitch black bedroom and then your mind began to wonder to how life had been since leaving the city.

Since the day you walked out of Grady Memorial hospital with Rick and his family, you’ve followed him faithfully. Even when there was no food, and the road was long in front of you; you walked by their side and did what you could to help protect the group. No one spoke much, certainly not at first. The days on the road were hard and quiet; no one exactly in the mood to get to know you.

After a few days, you realized that your blue scrubs were a lingering reminder of the friend and sister they just lost. Carol made sure she found you a change of clothes and took time to walk next to you, even if it was in silence. Besides Rick and Carol, Noah was the only person you felt completely comfortable with. You hadn’t spoken much at Grady, but the shared experience of what you both went through was enough to bond you down the long road to D.C.

It had been two months since Alexandria became home, and just about that amount of time since Noah was killed. Continuing to lose people became harder and harder on you, until there was just nothing of you left.

Things had been quiet in Alexandria for a couple weeks, but you had yet to be able to feel at home. Everyone was finally falling into a routine, except you. The weight of sadness you carried was starting to become too heavy and you couldn’t help but wonder why you even bothered leaving the hospital.

After Noah died on the run with Aiden and Glenn, you became completely withdrawn and wouldn’t speak to anyone. Losing people, especially ones you cared for wasn’t something you had much practice in until now. With each life lost, you found it harder and harder to come up with a reason to get out of bed each morning.

Slowly, you drifted back to a spotty sleep and were back at the beginning of the dream again. Same loud gun shots, same bloody corridor.

[Originally posted by cookiesordeath](https://tmblr.co/Zj98vl2ELFx8u)

There was a rustling of sound in your room, but you refused to open your eyes. You knew who it was and didn’t care. Carol wasn’t trying to hide her presence in your space, quite the opposite. She purposely rattled around and made noise as though you were a stubborn teenager she was trying to raise from the depths of sleep.

You heard her yank back the curtains and bright, rigid streaks of light brought the bedroom to life. You grunted and rolled into your pillow, but Carol only pulled the covers off your head.

“Rise and shine!” she sung cheerfully, “Time to get up and be among the living.”

“Go away,” you grunted and pulled the covers tighter.

“(Y/N), you can’t do this anymore,” Carol said, sitting on the edge of your bed. “It’s not healthy. You need to get up and outside. It’s time to start helping out around here.”

You sighed and reluctantly sat up. “Really, guilt?”

“Someone has to do something,” Carol said with a nod to make her point. “No one else wants to deal with you. Even Carl thinks you have an attitude.”

“Ugh,” you said crashing back to your pillow.

“Look, I know that it’s been hard. But,” she paused and seemed to reconsider her point. “You have to find a way to press on. We’ve all lost someone; many someone’s. You can get through it if you make up your mind to do so. Being weak isn’t an option, especially weak minded.”

Carol stood up and gave the covers one final yank. “Now, get up, get dressed and get downstairs. Breakfast is in five minutes.”

Making your way into the kitchen, Carol had three bowls of oatmeal sitting on the island counter. She smiled when she saw you shamble into the kitchen. You had done as she asked and gotten dressed into a pair of ripped up jeans, blue tank top and boots. As you grabbed a bowl of the lukewarm oatmeal, you heard voices coming into the kitchen. You turned to see Rick and Daryl walking in amid a conversation.

“Yeah, but I don’t really want to have to go that far out if we can help it. Supplies aren’t too low yet, but if we don’t find something soon it could start to become a dangerous situation.” Rick said as he picked up a bowl of the oatmeal.

Carol smiled at them and handed Daryl the last bowl.

“Carl up yet?” Rick asked. “He promised he would be up early to go see Denise this morning, said his wound has been hurting. I want her changing his bandages for a few more days.”

“He’s there now. Was up and out an hour ago,” Carol said and looked directly at you with raised brows. Daryl caught her look directed at you and snorted a laugh. You flipped him the finger and went back to your oatmeal.

“Play nice, kids,” Rick said shaking his head. “Carol, when he gets back ask him to look after Judy. I’m taking Daryl and (Y/N) out on a run today.”

Your head snapped up and looked at Rick. “Wait, why am I going?”

“Cause, I need you. Everyone else has something happenin’ today ‘cept you. Daryl and I are heading out to hunt and try to scare up some more supplies. Meds are low and foods getting there too. It’s an all-hands-on-deck situation.”

You felt your body slump in the chair. A tightness began to grow at the center of your chest at the thought of going beyond the walls. You hadn’t stepped foot out there since you arrived in Alexandria and even with the promise of Rick and Daryl at your side, the thought of breaching the walls was terrifying.

Along with the fear, was the anger you still carried. It was mostly directed at yourself for not being strong enough to be a productive survivor. All that happened before the outbreak and then during your time of imprisonment at Grady had left you a barely functional train wreck. Sure, physically you were healthy, but mentally and emotionally, not so much.

“Rick, I…” you started but stopped and looked at Carol. She didn’t say a word, didn’t need to because her expression said it all. The worst of it was you knew that everything she wasn’t saying was true. You did need to get off your ass and find a way to move on; to live. “I’ll be out to the gate in about fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Sounds good.” Rick said, satisfied with your lack of resistance. “Daryl, you comin’?”

“Yeah, gonna finish this then grab my gear. I’ll meet ya out there.” Daryl shoveled the rest of the oatmeal into his mouth and whipped his lips against his sleeve. “Thanks Carol,” he said jumping up from the table and heading up to his room.

“Stop staring at me,” you said to Carol without looking at her. “I’m going, okay?”

“Okay,” she said simply and put Daryl’s bowl in the sink. “You should go up and get your stuff. He won’t wait long.”

“Yeah, I know,” you said pushing back from the counter.

“(Y/N), try and make the best of it out there today. Maybe learn something from Rick and Daryl.”

“Learn something?” You asked. You could feel the familiar anger begin to rise at her snappy judgement of you; and it wasn’t the first time. Everyone had always made assumptions about you and what you could or couldn’t do. It happened before, and it happened after; you started to feel like it would never stop happening.

“Yeah, hunting, fishing… scavenging. You said you didn’t spend much time out there after the outbreak. You could pick up some things from them. Doesn’t hurt to stay sharp and ready.”

Trying not to be offended, you considered the fact that Carol really didn’t know much about your life before the outbreak. None of them did and if you had your way, none of them would. To keep the peace, you just smiled and nodded before heading up to get your gear.

 

Twenty minutes later you were riding in the back seat of the ugliest car still running in the apocalypse with Rick at the helm. Daryl rode shotgun and you overheard their plans for the outing. Since all the shopping centers had been picked over, they decided it was time hunt a new area for some deer and rabbits, maybe even a wild boar if they got lucky.

Canned goods were dwindling, and the woods around the walls were becoming scarce with animals. Unless the scavenger teams going out found a big score of food, hunting was their only option.

Rick had pulled the car over to the side of the road and Daryl hopped out immediately, readying his crossbow in case of a stray walker or two.

When the coast was clear, you opened the back door and went around to the trunk. Rick was already there holding out a rifle to you. You hadn’t held one since you got off the road from Georgia; the weight of it felt odd in your hands.

“That alright?” Rick asked when he saw your look of hesitation. He always seemed to have your well-being at the forefront of his mind, and it made you feel simultaneously safe and stupid. You could take care of yourself. That was the funniest part. You knew how to hunt, fish… how to survive. What you couldn’t do, was find that part of yourself that could find the will to do any of it.

“Yeah, its fine.” You said and turned towards the woods.

“Hope so,” Daryl grumbled. “Certainly don’t need anyone out there that can’t handle that rifle.”

“Fuck off Dixon,” you snapped. Daryl hadn’t been the most welcoming person in the group, and even after all the time that had gone by, he still found ways to make your blood boil. Not that you gave Daryl much thought, but when he did cross your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder if the hostility he had towards you was because you were alive, and Beth wasn’t. You were a stranger to him, not the one he planned on leaving Grady with.

“C’mon now,” Rick started, clearly unamused by both of your behavior. “(Y/N) is fine with the rifle, and Daryl trusts you to have his back, right?” He asked Daryl with a stern look.

“Yeah, sure,” Daryl said flashing you a look of uncertainty. “Let’s go.”

 

Fanning out, the three of you scoured the woods for some time. After several hours, the sun started to make its decent to the west and you whistled for Rick’s attention.

“Maybe we should call it,” you said in a loud whisper.

“Ten more minutes,” he responded and motioned to keep going.

You saw Rick flank off to the left, gun raised with hopefully something in his sight. You looked right, towards Daryl’s position and saw he was gone. Concerned, you looked around and saw that his tracks went to an overgrown trail that disappeared into some thick brush. As quietly as you could, you followed his tracks into a small clearing. Daryl stood on the fringe of the brush; his crossbow pointed at a buck about fifty yards ahead.

It all happened so fast. Daryl was about to release the trigger, sending the bolt into the buck’s neck. At the same time and without any warning, three walkers pushed through the brush within an arm’s reach of Daryl’s vest. You saw them in time to raise your rifle, aim quickly and take out the closest one to him with a head shot. The sound of the firing rifle startled Daryl as the bolt flew wildly at the buck, causing him to stumble backwards over a fall tree on the ground and landing on his back.

You lunged towards the other two walkers as they fell on top of him, gnashing their teeth and clawing at the leather arms of his jacket. Without missing a beat, you had your knife unsheathed and plunged through their soft, decaying skulls. Jumping up, you pulled them off Daryl one by one and extended a hand to help him up.

He got to his feet and tried to let go of the massive surge of adrenaline that raced through his body. Visibly shaken, he locked eyes with you, and gave a slight nod of thanks before picking up his crossbow.

“You alright?” You asked, not seeing any tears in his jacket or scratches on his hands.

“I’m good.” He said and looked out into the clearing. “Even managed to still get the buck.” He said and flashed a rare smile. You shook your head and turned back to see Rick standing at the edge of the trail.

“See, I knew she’d be fine out here,” Rick said to Daryl, smiling his best ‘I-told-you-so’ smile. “Now, let’s get that home and call it a day.”

You got home just as dusk became dark. Rick pulled right inside the gates and killed the engine. Getting out, he tossed the keys to Spencer who went to work getting the deer from the trunk. You were already out and headed back to the house you shared with five other people; just longing for the quiet comfort of your small bedroom.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Daryl called out. “Wait up.” Daryl caught up to you and gently touched your elbow. You instinctively pulled your arm away, then felt immediately guilty for having that reaction.

“Sorry, you caught me off guard,” you said trying to make an excuse.

“It’s fine,” he said, “You okay?”

You shrugged, “Yeah, great.”

“I wanted to say thanks. You saved my ass out there.” You were surprised how genuine he managed to sound.

“Yep, anytime.” You turned to walk away, but he stopped you again.

“You’re good out there you know, we could use more of that.” He is tone seemed sincere. But if he was it was the first time, ever. He tried to read your face, but you cast your eyes down to the asphalt not wanting to meet his gaze. You just nodded, unsure of what to say.

“Whatever’s going on in there,” he said pointing to your head, “you’d be best to get it straight. I know it ain’t easy, but it also doesn’t have to be as hard as you let it be.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile, and continued towards home. Suddenly, that was the last place you wanted to be. The house would be full of life this time of night with dinner being served to nearly the entire group, including Daryl and Carol. You knew Carol would be watching you; she was always watching you these days. It was getting tiresome.

You returned the rifle back to the armory, and walked down to the lake taking a seat under the gazebo. The sound of footsteps approaching made you turn around to see Rick standing there.

“You comin’ for dinner?”

“Nah, just gonna sit here a while.”

Rick started to speak and you held up a hand stopping him. “Before you ask, I’m fine.”

He gave you a single nod and turned towards home. Rick stopped and turned back to you, “Going out again tomorrow. You in?”

“Why not. Don’t have much else going on. And I doubt Carol will let me alone if I don’t so… might as well.”

Rick smiled and turned to head towards home.

 

[Originally posted by teamcarylmundial](https://tmblr.co/ZzavNg2Lte3Gu)

 

Carol placed the casserole dish down and surveyed the faces around her table. It took a little while, but she found her stride here in Alexandria. Now that Rick was in charge, and she didn’t have to wear her mask, Carol had started to form a new version of herself. One that could fulfil her need to be the mother she knew she was; nurturing and taking care of everyone. But, she could also be the person that can also handle the shit that needed handling.

She squinted in frustration when she noticed you weren’t at the table. Carl was busying cutting up his sister’s food, Rick and Michonne were discussing viable options for the next run beyond the walls, Daryl was making faces at Judith and Maggie was busy scribbling notes on a pad.

“Daryl, Rick, do you know if (Y/N) is coming home for dinner?” Carol asked.

“I saw her in the gazebo, think she’s hanging there for a while,” Rick said before turning his attention back to Michonne.

“Hmmm,” Carol said and turned to go back into the kitchen. She went about getting the rest of the dishes, when Daryl walked in behind her.

“You need help?” he asked, picking at a salad of garden greens she was tossing.

She smacked his hand away, “Did you wash up?”

“Yes mom,” Daryl said sarcastically, stealing another carrot from the top.

“Wonder why (Y/N) isn’t joining us,” she said, hoping Daryl might offer some insight.

“Dunno. Had a sorta close call today. Maybe it shook her a little more than she let on. Gotta tell ya though, she was a hell of a lot better out there than I thought she’d be.”

“I’m worried about her,” Carol said, furrowing her brow. “We should do something.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe, just talk to her more; try and get to know her better. We really never learned anything about her life before she wound up at Grady. Even those details are sketchy at best…” Carol trailed off, lost in thought.

Daryl was quiet and contemplative for a moment.

“I wonder if she ever talked to Beth about…” no sooner did her name escape Daryl’s lips, did he stop, and sigh. He knew better than to think back to that day, even months later it was hard to remember. Daryl’s gaze stayed on the floor until he felt Carol’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, let’s go eat.” She said, and carried the salad out to the table.

[Originally posted by noisysunday](https://tmblr.co/ZvNN0y2Hf4uMA)

 

Once the dishes were clear, everyone went their separate ways and Carol started to shut down the house. Daryl was on the porch smoking a cigarette. She thought about leaving him be, and not pressing the conversation anymore, but she felt in her heart that Daryl would be the one who could possibly break through to you.

Carol pulled her sweater tighter as she stepped out onto the porch. The chill in the air was brisker than she realized and felt a sliver of a chill run down her back. Smiling at Daryl, she leaned against the railing, watching him thoughtfully inhale and exhale the smoke.

“What?” he finally said, knowing she had something to say. “Out with it.”

“I want you to try and spend some time with her,” she said, brushing off his immediate annoyance.

“Carol,” Daryl started and moved to where she stood at the railing. He leaned his forearms on the rails and looked up at her. “Why? Why me?”

“Because, you’re the one that can help her. Help her like you helped Beth.”

Her name again. Daryl’s head hung low, “Why you bringin’ her up?”

“You’re the one that brought her up before. And because… you helped her. When the prison fell, you two were out there. You said that. You said you were out there and she changed. She grew strong and capable. You helped her do that.”

“No, I didn’t,” Daryl said finally meeting her soft blue eyes. “Beth did that on her own. She made up her mind that she was gonna be a survivor. So, she became one.”

“Until she wasn’t,” Carol said a bit callously. “I don’t want that happening to (Y/N) too. I won’t lose her to another stupid decision.”  Carol looked up at Daryl thoughtfully. “Haven’t you noticed that besides me and Rick, you are the only one she even looks at.”

“Yeah, usually when she’s callin’ me an asshole or flippin’ me off,” he said not without a little humor.

“Exactly, at least it’s a response. Maggie and Glenn have all but given up trying to reach her, Sasha too. I am afraid at what happens when she finally gives up on herself altogether.”

“What I don’t get is, why the hell you care so much?” Daryl asked, trying to understand Carol’s motives.

“I have my reasons,” Carol said looking down at him. “Will you do this for me… please?”

Daryl couldn’t say no to her, and she knew it. He would do anything she asked, no matter how much he didn’t want to do it. She knew that too.

“Fine,” he said standing up straight. “I ain’t promisin’ you a damn thing though. If she doesn’t want me around, I ain’t gonna force it.”

“Fair enough,” Carol said smiling. She took in a deep breath of the crisp air and looked out over Alexandria. She saw your silhouette standing in the entrance of the gazebo looking up into the sky and wondered what it was going to take to bring you out of the dark place you were currently living in.

***   ***   ***  

 

That night you stayed in the gazebo until the full moon hung high in the sky. You could see the windows of home you shared shining bright with life and family. While you waited for the lights to be turned out one by one, you looked up at the stars and searched for the Big Dipper; the constellation that you were supposed to look for when you were lost. The one that helped point you to the north star. Once you had that in your sites, you should always be able to find your way home.

That’s what your dad used to say anyway. He would say things like that when he had sober moments and remembered that he was supposed to be taking care of you and your brother, and not the other way around.

Trying your best to block the memories from revealing themselves, you stood up and started towards the house before the tears started to burn hot under your eye lids. In the distance, the glow of a cigarette floated on the porch and you knew Daryl was there.

Unable to avoid another interaction with him, you strode up to the house and walked up the porch, offering him pleasant smile and nod hello. Hoping he would just leave you be, you tried to just go inside and upstairs, but Daryl had other plans.

“Hey,” he said, exhaling a puff of smoke, “hang out a sec.” He emerged from the shadows and motioned for you to come sit.

“Any food left?” you asked as he sat on the steps next to you.

“Yeah, I think Carol stuck a plate in the fridge for ya,” Daryl exhaled again then looked at you. You got the feeling he was working up the courage to ask you something. Feeling like you might scream if one more person asked you if you were okay, you decided to once again make a preemptive strike.

“I am fine, you don’t have to ask.”

“Wasn’t gonna. Well, wasn’t gonna ask that anyway,” Daryl said and snuffed out his cigarette on his shoe. He knew better than to toss them in the yard, Carol would have a fit. “Besides, I know you ain’t fine. So why bother askin’.”

You appreciated his honesty and let him continue.

“Don’t think I ever got to ask you…”

“Ask me what?”

“The questions. I mean, I guess they’re kinda pointless now, but I’m curious,” Daryl narrowed his gaze at you, the weight of which started to feel heavy on your skin.

“What questions?”

“How many walkers you killed?”

You snorted a laugh. “Really? Um, I dunno… more than some, not as many as others.”

“How many people?”

That question made your skin grow cold. When you hesitated to answer, Daryl repeated the question and you squeezed your eyes shut. You knew that Daryl and Rick have had to kill people. You saw it firsthand. But would they accept your answer?

A half-dozen possible answers swirled through your head. You could lie, you could tell him a partial truth… and before Daryl repeated it for a third time, you finally answered.

“Too many,” you said and hugged your knees tight to your chest. All the emotions that you’ve tried to shove down into the depths of your being suddenly sprung free.

Daryl gave you a sideways glance and swallowed hard. “Why?” he asked, his voice low.

“Because I wasn’t paying attention,” you sighed, eyes fixed straight ahead.

“What does that mean?” Daryl asked

You turned and tried to read his expression. The moonlight gave enough illumination to see concern on his face, and you knew that you had to tell him. You could’ve lied, but now that it was out there, you had to lay out the rest as well.

“It means that before the outbreak, I was responsible for the deaths of a lot of people because I was too wrapped up in my own misery to stop someone from doing something stupid.”

“How’s that your fault?” Daryl asked, wincing at the pain he saw distorting your face.

“He was my responsibility, and I failed him. I failed everyone.” Your throat thick with regret.

“Who was?” he asked.

“My brother. He was sick, mentally. He had a lot of problems. Right before the outbreak he…” your words cut off by the onset of tears. Suddenly you felt tired of trying to hold everything in. Not having had the chance to grieve for all that was lost before the outbreak, now coupled with all that you’ve endured since, your emotional damn finally cracked and everything spilled out.

Daryl sat next to you unsure of what to say as you buried your head in your hands and let your body convulse with silent sobs. He had just agreed to try and get to know you for Carol’s sake. The questions were an ice breaker, a way for Daryl to learn a little more about you. He never expected this type of reaction.

For the first time since Grady Memorial, he looked at you and realized how harsh he’d been. Daryl was beginning to feel the wall he had up between the two of you show the first few signs of fatigue.

He slipped a few inches closer, and tentatively put his arm around your shoulders. His thumb began to lightly rub your arm and you were surprised at how welcome his touch felt, the weight of his arm and leather jacket made you feel safe, even if it was just for a second. You thought back to earlier that evening and how you reacted to his hand on your elbow and felt bad all over again.  

You let yourself have a half a moment of consolation before pulling back from him. You offered Daryl a grateful smile through your tears, but you could read his discomfort like a giant sign.

“Thanks,” you said, wiping at your face. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you were expecting.” You stood up trying to spare him anymore of your tears, “I’m gonna go in, it’s getting cold.”

“Y/N, wait,” Daryl stood up on the step so you were eye to eye, “I know I ain’t been easy on ya. After Atlanta… well, shit was just hard. So, I get it, and I’m sorry for that. If you need… anything, you can always come find me. I’m around.”

You had a choice: you could stay and maybe start to open up to someone, or turn tail and run like you had always done. His gaze never left your face, and for a split second you had considered sitting back down and just letting everything go to this man you barely knew.

But, giving into your fear of it, you simply said ‘thanks again’ and went back inside. When you crawled into bed that night you had already made up your mind that you were done trying to feel sorry for what happened. Carol was right, you needed to find a purpose to wake up and live, if for no other reason to then to prevent another breakdown like you just had in front of Daryl.

***   ***   ***

The next morning you were up before Carol could come into your room. You were already in the kitchen starting the coffee and warming the water for the oatmeal. Carol stood there staring in disbelief and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, this is a welcome sight,” she said a tad sarcastically, looking past you at the coffee pot and tea kettle already on the stove.

“Was getting a little tired of my new alarm clock,” you returned in kind, flashing her a smile. “Besides, I figured if I didn’t start to get off my ass, you were going to sic Daryl on me again.”

“All I asked him to do was be nice,” Carol said making her way to the cabinet to grab a coffee mug. “He just needs time to warm up to you.”

“Anyway, you don’t need to make him talk to me. I am really ok,” you lied through your teeth.

“Well, if not Daryl, then someone…” Carol paused and turned to face you, “Y/N, you need to find something, or someone, to give you purpose. Without that, without having something to fight for, you will just fade away. I don’t want that to happen to you too…” Carol trailed off deep in thought for a moment. Shaking it off she looked back to you.

“No worries Carol, I’m on board, ok? No more sleeping all day and being a louse. I promise.” You held up your fingers in a mocking eagle scout gesture and smiled your best ‘fake-it-till-you-make-it’ smile.

Out by the gates Rick and Daryl were talking to Denise. From a slight distance, you could see concern on Rick’s face and his gestures getting animated. You hurried over and stood next to Daryl who seemed to be deep in thought.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“Carl’s got an infection,” Rick said and looked back at Denise, motioning for her to continue.

“He had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics we had. I told him to stop taking them. That lot of meds you found last week is fine for others, but Carl can’t take them. I don’t know if he goes into anaphylactic shock that I have what I need to save him.”

“Alright, so where do we go look for other meds he could take?” Daryl asked looking from Denise to Rick, to you.

“Actually,” you spoke up, “there’s an industrial park about seventy miles north of here. I don’t know exactly what’s up there, but I remember Aiden saying something a possible pharmaceutical building in there somewhere when we were out with…” you paused at the memory that included Noah and forced it aside. “It was one of the places they wanted to get out and scout. Never made it though…”

“Did he mention if the path was cleared?” Daryl asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Rick said, “it’s our only play. Can’t let the infection get worse. Besides, we need the meds and whatever else may be left behind. So, let’s go now and hope the way is at least a little clear.”

Daryl nodded. “Alright, I’ll grab a ride and gas up,” he turned a gaze to you. “You comin’?”

“Yeah, I’m in.” You said, feeling good about it. Maybe Carol really was right, having a purpose that’s bigger than yourself could be the key to lifting the fog of regret and shame you’d been carrying around.

Just as Daryl pulled up with the car, Tara came running down the street from the infirmary.

“Denise! Rick! Come quick, Carl’s fever spiked… it’s high,” Tara called.

Rick turned to Daryl in desperation, and before he could say anything, Daryl spoke up.

“Go, take care of the kid. Me and (Y/N) got it,” he said looking to you for confirmation.

“Yeah, absolutely. Go, we’ll go get what we can and get back,” you said walking to the passenger side of the car.

Rick gave you a nod and a grateful smile, “Be careful, but hurry back.”

Daryl jumped into the driver’s seat and waited for Eugene to open the gate. He let out a deep breath of adrenaline and looked over at you. “Never a dull moment, huh?”

“That’s an understatement,” you said, and suddenly found yourself smiling a little. “You really think you can pull this off? Find the meds, I mean…”

Daryl was thoughtful for a moment. He finally looked over at you and nodded, “Mhmm. I do. We,” he said moving his finger back and forth between you and him, “are gonna pull this off. We can do anything if we all do it together.”


	2. Chapter 2

[Originally posted by winchesterinterrupted](https://tmblr.co/ZixYJk2GZBBt8)

The map was open in front of you, your eyes scanning the coordinates for the area where the industrial park was.

“Here,” you said, pointing out the little red dot on the map to Daryl. “Looks like we can head up 22. If the highway is clear, we may have a chance to get there and back in one day.”

Daryl looked at you and nodded, “That would be a very good thing.”

“Yeah, especially since I left my pack at the house,” you said shaking your head.

Daryl snorted a laugh. “Well, good for you that I come prepared I guess,” he motioned to the back seat where you saw the extra backpack and rifle laying across the seat.

“Guess we’re even now,” you managed to smile at him. “I saved your ass yesterday, and you save mine today.”

“We ain’t even,” Daryl said, now offering a playful smirk, “day ain’t over yet girl. Let’s see who owes who by the end of the day.”

You couldn’t help but find his current demeanor amusing. Since you got into the car with him, any of the shame you felt about breaking down the night before was fading. It was like being around a completely different person than you had known all this time.

Daryl navigated the car per your directions and wound up on a clear highway. Route 22 stretched out before you as far as the eye could see. For twenty miles you had a straight shot, barely passing any cars or walkers along the way. Feeling the car slow down, you looked over to Daryl who wore a look of frustration.

“Damn gas ran out,” he growled and threw the car in park. “I got some more in the trunk. Why don’t you take the rifle and head up to the car up yonder; check the tank.”

“Okay,” you said calmly, yet you felt anything but. Getting out of the car, you retrieved the rifle and slowly approached the car. Every few steps you would turn to check on Daryl, as well as your perimeter for any signs of hostility.

Off in the distance, you heard a lone crow’s cry and looked around anxiously. Other than the slight breeze rattling through the trees and asphalt crunching under your feet, it was completely silent.

As the car came into your view, you saw the passenger door was wide open and a trail of blood and guts emptied onto the shoulder and down the grassy embankment. Looking back at Daryl, you saw he was placing the gas can back in the trunk and getting back in the car. You waited until you saw him driving towards you before getting any closer. With your attention at full tilt, you found yourself slipping into survival mode.

Just like your father had taught you and your brother –  _eyes up, ears open, finger steady_  – your gun was raised, finger near but not on the trigger, and took slow, even breaths. Narrowing your focus back to the car, you approached it with caution. When there was no movement inside, you opened the driver’s side door and found the gas release lever.

By the time you had it open and was checking the levels, Daryl had joined you, leaving your ride idling on the highway.

“Anything?” he asked.

“No, not really.”

“Damn. Can’s kicked. We’ll have to look as we go to refuel but it should hopefully get us back.” Daryl noticed you staring at the car. “What? Somethin’ wong?”

“I don’t know,” you motioned to the door being open, “there’s fresh blood here. The car itself doesn’t have a speck of dust. I don’t know… something feels…”

The click of a revolver sounded in your ear and you felt the pressure of cold steel to the back of your head. Afraid to move, your eyes shifted to Daryl and saw he was in a similar predicament.

“I would stay really still if I were you, pretty lady,” a voice whispered too close to your ear. “You to fella.”

The stranger’s arm wrapped around you, relieving you of your gun. You fought at first, but the man grabbed your neck, yanking you backward.

“Hey!” Daryl yelled, “Get your hands off’er!”

“Now, we ain’t gonna hurt your girlfriend fella. We just wanna borrow her real quick,” the man sneered at Daryl. He roughly rubbed his dirty hands over your breasts and gritted his teeth.

Daryl’s face contorted into that of a wild animal as he thrashed against the man holding him back. The man who gripped you tightly let out a whistle and turned you around. From up the other side of the highway embankment, two other men came creeping up; each was holding a small handgun and armed with a knife. Both you and Daryl seemed to notice at the same time, and you caught him looking between you and the two new men.

 _Look girl,_  your father’s words echoed in your head,  _just look. What do you see…_

You looked the men over and thought it odd they approached with handguns and knives. If they had bullets, why would they need the knives out?

_What else do you see?_

They were scared.

_And…_

You weren’t.

Above you the crow seemed to be circling and when it let out another cry, it was just enough of a distraction for you to act. As if Daryl could read your mind, you both lashed out at the same time.

You quickly bent at your waist against the man’s grip and used a forceful blow from your elbow into his crotch, causing him to double over. You grabbed your rifle back from his hand and had it pointed at the man holding Daryl.

Daryl got free and immediately punched the guy across his face, causing him and hiss gun to fall to the asphalt. Daryl was able to kick it away from him, while simultaneously grabbing his crossbow off the ground. The two men that had approached stood frozen staring at their companions on the ground.

Without hesitation, you pointed your rifle at the man who grabbed you and shot him in the head. You could feel yourself moving on auto pilot. In the background, Daryl was trying to get your attention as you raised the rifle to the two men frozen in place. You could feel the tears barreling down your face, but paid them no attention.

Suddenly, the highway melted around you and you could only see the dark and dingy hallways of Grady Memorial. The men coming at you weren’t just degenerates, they were the uniformed cops… they were Officer Gorman. You remembered how it felt whenever you saw him approaching you; the fear of knowing what he wanted from you. In the same instant, you flashed to the stranger’s hand rubbing across your chest.

You felt a guttural scream rising from deep within you. Nothing Daryl could have said or done would have stopped you. You hammered back the trigger three more times. Hitting each of the remaining men squarely between the eyes. The echoes of the rifle rang through the trees, scaring up the remaining murder of crows to take off into the horizon.

Coming back to your true surroundings, you looked over at Daryl who was cautiously approaching you. He was saying something, but your ears were still ringing and fuzzy.

“Hey, Y/N, hey… look at me…” Daryl had his hands on your shoulders, “We gotta go. The sound of the shots will draw more…” you saw him turn towards where the men came up the embankment. Six walkers were now shambling towards you. It was the sight of them that finally broke your trance, allowing you to shake off the last of the haze.

You bent down and picked up the dropped hand guns and ran to the idling car. No sooner did you close the door, did the walkers crash into the windows, leaving streaks of dirt and blood down the sides. Daryl put the car in drive and took off before they could do any further damage, leaving the bloody scene far in the distance.

 

[Originally posted by gameofships31](https://tmblr.co/ZpnD1d2PWCkvj)

You never did look back, nor did you look at him. For the rest of the drive to the industrial park you rode in a silence. You were thankful that it was Daryl there with you because anyone else may have wanted to talk it to death.

You could feel him occasionally throw a glance your way, but not in the way he did before. It wasn’t a ‘ _are you okay?’_ look either. If you didn’t know any better, you would say that he looked proud of you.

“How much further?” he asked finally, snapping you back to the present.

“Should be about ten more miles up,” you said examining the map. Route 22 had been clear all the way up, but there were still a couple rural roads that you needed to pass to reach the park.

“Right,” he said and furrowed his brow. “Look, about that… what you did… you had too.” Daryl’s eyes flashed back and forth between you and the road. “The way you…” Daryl stopped and you looked at him matter-of-factly.

“I will not be raped again, Daryl. I won’t.” Your dead pan stare caused him visible discomfort. “You’re right. I did what I had too. I just wish I didn’t have to.”

You looked back out the window, waiting for him to press you with questions. But he didn’t, not yet anyway. Daryl went silent and didn’t speak again until you pulled up in front of the industrial park.

As if the universe was granting you a break, the path was completely clear right up to the gates of the industrial park. Four different warehouses sat behind the fence, each with a different, nondescript name and logo on the front.

“Great, it’ll take all day to go through this,” Daryl said as he took care of the two walkers behind the fence still dressed in their guard uniforms.

You looked at each one of the buildings and saw something you recognized.

“Nah, it won’t. C’mon I know where to go,” you said and started to climb the fence. Daryl followed close behind you.

He followed you across the empty parking lots towards a building that had a bright yellow and blue symbol, with the letters RGN Inc. written in small block letters below it.

“What is this place?” Daryl asked squinting against the sun as he looked it over.

“This company manufactures certain types of medication. I don’t know about these other ones, but I know RGN makes drugs. Any chance of finding what Carl needs will be in here.”

“How’d you know that?” Daryl asked and you heard the hesitation in his voice.

“My brother took a lot of antipsychotic meds. For a while there I was the only one helping him. So, after a while, you get used to seeing certain labels. That,” you said pointing up at the bold yellow and blue lines, “is a symbol I saw quite often.”

“Good ‘nough for me,” Daryl said as you both approached the door. He pulled it open carefully, and it gave way with no objection.

The smell that hit you as you walked into the building was pungent; a sour mix of rotten food and flesh. You and Daryl started searching the building only stumbling across one or two walkers along the way. Once you rounded through offices, you found the storage area where they kept all the meds that were ready to ship out. The warehouse was stacked top to bottom with boxes.

“We should spread out, look for anything that says antibiotics. We’ll grab everything we can and let Denise sort it out.”

“Nah, stay together,” Daryl said. “I’m not takin’ any more chances today. We’ll go through quick and grab what we can. Come back for the rest.”

Aisle by aisle you found just what you were looking for. Daryl found an old pull cart down one of the walkways and starting piling box after box until it was nearly too full to drag along.

“We got a lot of choices here for Denise. We should get these home and come back for the rest. Now that we know the highway is clear, it’s an easy run. Also, be good to check those other buildings.” You said, taking the handle for the cart and trying to pull it along.

The boxes made it nearly impossible to move, and after letting you struggle for a moment or two Daryl came over and effortlessly yanked it forward. Shaking your head, you lead him through the warehouse and back into the corridors leading to the exit.

 

[Originally posted by prettymuchdixonalready](https://tmblr.co/ZfCxfg2OBsAtq)

Daryl checked the one car that had been left in the parking lot and was able to siphon some gas into the can before heading out. As you were driving back down Route 22, you were nearing the spot where the incident had occurred earlier.

There was enough daylight left that you could see the four men lying dead on the ground. You didn’t want to look but couldn’t help it. One lone walker was still making a meal out of the one who had held the gun to your head.

A sick feeling of satisfaction grew in your gut, and as if sensing your thoughts, Daryl caught your eye and gave you a knowing nod.

“Don’t look,” he said, keeping his eyes on you and not the road.

“Well, you better,” you said and motioned forward towards the highway.

Ignoring your directive, Daryl glanced quickly at the spot where you’d been attacked and then back at you, chewing on his lip.

“What you said before… before we got to the warehouse. That happen to you at Grady.. or before?”

You knew what he meant and only offered a slight nod. Those memories were locked up tight and while you had absolutely no intention of ever talking about it, something about the way Daryl was looking at you, you felt like you could.

“Grady. There were these two cops,” you said hesitantly, then looked at Daryl. His eyes were back on the road, but you knew you had his full attention. “They were the lowest forms of life. They would make the women do… God awful things just so they could eat, or get the medicine they needed.”

Sighing heavy, you thought back to that first time Gorman entered your room uninvited. “If you refused, then they just found you later and got what they wanted anyway.”

“Last night, when you grabbed my arm… I’m just not good with people touching me suddenly. I know that it’s over, that he’s dead. But sometimes I have to force myself to remember that, you know?”

Daryl’s face was hard and angry. He still didn’t say a word, but you knew that if Gorman and Dawn weren’t already dead, he’d pull a U-turn and head straight back to Atlanta to do it himself.

“Beth was okay though,” you said. “Thought you’d want to know that. As far as I know they never touched her other than a hard smack across the face.”

Daryl caught your gaze and there was a look of relief that washed over him.

“She helped kill him, you know. Gorman, I mean… She knew what he was. I don’t know how it went down exactly, but I know she was partially responsible. After that I knew that I had to do everything I could to help her. She was strong and did something to save us from that monster.”

“Beth had a way of doin’ that,” Daryl said quietly. “She wasn’t always that way. Took a while, but she figured out how to be strong; to be a survivor.”

“She was lucky to have had you all,” you said and wondered if you had a group like this from the start, how different things would have been. “She was lucky that you loved her.”

“It was my fault she ended up there,” Daryl said quietly. “It was just us out there. We got cornered and I told her to run. I got back to her and she was gone. If I had just kept her with me…”

“Stop. No use in going down that road Daryl. Trust me. Why the hell do you think my head’s been so fucked up these last few months? I can’t stop playing ‘what if’. What if I tried to kill Dawn earlier. What if I hadn’t gone back into the city to look for my brother. What if I hadn’t let a man in uniform convince me to go with him for my own safety? What if… what if Beth hadn’t been at that hospital.”

This time when the tears threatened to fall, you found your resolve and pushed them back. Sitting up straighter in the seat you felt the familiar burn of anger starting to bubble in the pit of your stomach.

“I can’t begin to tell you what it feels like to know that the woman you loved died and I am only here because she’s dead. That kind of guilt is not easy to live with Daryl.”  

For the second time that day, Daryl pulled the car to a stop and put it in park. He turned his attention fully to you, his eyes soft and thoughtful.

“Y/N, you gotta stop. I miss her, I do. Took me a way to get over the fact that she’s gone… but she’s gone. You’re not. Beth would be the first one to tell ya that she’s glad you’re alive and with us. She’d want us to care for you, look out for you…” Daryl trailed off. “Why do you think Carol is always on your ass?”

You shook your head and couldn’t help but crack a smile. Carol was relentless but you were starting to get why. They did care. All of them. Even Daryl… the one person in the group you assumed resented you the most was the one who was now comforting you and telling you it’ll be alright.

“We should get home,” you said motioning to the road again, “I don’t know Rick as well as you, but somethin’ tells me he’s not the most patient man.”

“Yeah,” Daryl smirked as he got the car in gear, “you got that right.”

Once again making it through the gates as dusk gave way to nighttime, Rick greeted you outside the infirmary.

“You’re back,” he said with a great deal of relief. Peering into the back seat, a smile broke out on his wearied face at the sight of the haul you returned with. “You found ‘em.”

“And then some,” Daryl responded as he opened the trunk revealing the rest of the boxes. “This one over here made it easy to find,” Daryl smiled, gesturing in your direction.

Rick placed his hand on your shoulder and met your eyes with his cool blue ones, “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you…” he pulled you into a hug, and your body stiffened against his. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Your fearless leader hugged you gratefully, but more surprising was that you found yourself hugging him back.

Giving Daryl a nod of gratitude, Rick followed Denise, Tara and the boxes of meds back to the infirmary. You caught sight of Daryl glancing at you through his long wisps of hair, no longer with a smile on his face, but couldn’t read his expression. Without saying a word, he reached back into the trunk and pulled out more of the boxes and carried them to the porch.

“Want some help?” You asked, picking up a box.

“Nah, go on home. I got this.” Confused by the sudden coldness you felt from him, you turned and started walking towards the house. Just as you did the night before, you saw the house illuminated and shadows walking past the drawn shades.

Glancing back over your shoulder to Daryl loading the last boxes on the porch, you decided to go back to the gazebo. At least there you could look for the big dipper again. Maybe if you could locate the north star again, it could help keep you on the path of the living.

 

[Originally posted by carls-left-eye](https://tmblr.co/ZpMrPh2Fpgbvf)

Daryl entered the infirmary and saw Denise hovering over Carl. He was sleeping soundly, sweat glistening across his forehead. Michonne was sitting on his other side, brushing strands of sticky hair from his face.

“He alright?” Daryl asked placing the box on the empty gurney.

“He should be,” Denise said without looking up. “Getting the new antibiotics in the IV now. Luckily his fever stopped rising, now we just have to get it to break.”

Daryl walked to Rick who was standing in the corner watching Denise care for Carl.

“You alright?” Daryl asked Rick in somber tone.

“I am now that you guys are back. Everything go ok?”

“Yeah, you know…” Daryl shrugged. “Went like it always does. Bad guys, walkers. Whatever. We got back.” Rick nodded in acknowledgement not needing any more details.

“And the warehouse?”  
“Stocked. Floor to ceiling with meds. Should take a bigger group and head back out that way,” Daryl said but looked at Carl. “When this one’s better we’ll go. This way you can come too.”

“You seemed to do alright without me,” Rick said with half a smile, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

“Maybe,” Daryl said, thinking back to the men who tried to jump them. “Rick… Y/N…”

“What about her?”

Before Daryl could speak, Carl stirred at the feeling of a new IV being put in his arm. Rick jumped forward to see if his son would open his eye, forgetting Daryl was even there. As Rick and Michonne hovered protectively over Carl, Daryl slipped out on the porch and saw you sitting in the gazebo.

 

“Hey,” he said as he approached you, a newly lit cigarette hanging from his lip. “Can I sit?”

“Sure,” you said and moved over on the bench. “You got another one of those?” Daryl reached in his pocket and handed the pack to you. As the cigarette touched your lips, he was igniting his lighter in front of you.

It had been years since you had one, but that familiar feeling of the smoke cascading down into your lungs felt like a sweet release after the day you had experienced.

“You said somethin’ before that I don’t get,” Daryl said without looking at you.

“What?”

“You said Beth was lucky we loved her,” He turned, meeting your eyes.

“Yeah, okay…What about it?” You asked a little confused as to why that statement, out of all of them, was the one that stuck with him.

“We did… we all did. But it wasn’t like that. She wasn’t just Maggie’s kid sister, she was all of ours.”

“Oh, I just assumed she was your girlfriend,” you said, thinking about the day Beth died and how Daryl had reacted.

“She was just a kid. She deserved more time,” he said, finally looking at you. “But you’re wrong to think what you did.”

A light breeze tumbled through the gazebo causing your arms to break out in goosebumps. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you suddenly felt very self-conscious sitting next to Daryl. His broad, welcoming shoulders were barely grazing yours and for the first time in a long time, the feel of someone else’s touch didn’t make you feel the need to shower.

Releasing yourself, you took another drag from the cigarette and exhaled slowly, watching the smoke be tossed away by the breeze. Turning to face Daryl, his eyes were already narrowed on you, causing a new sensation to stir deep down.

The intensity of his azure eyes fell on top of you and you couldn’t decide if it was a look like he wanted to kill you or kiss you. The way your time with him had been going the last couple days, you thought it could really be either option.

“What?” You said a little annoyed, feeling uncomfortable under his glare.

“Do you got a thing for Rick?” Daryl asked, taking you completely by surprise.

The chill on your skin a moment ago was suddenly replaced by that fire that always seemed to be burning somewhere in you.

“Rick?” You half asked half accused. “Seriously? What the fuck dude…” you shook your head at Daryl and took another drag off the cigarette. “Where did that come from?”

No answer, just a shrug of his shoulder.

“Bullshit,” you said. “Why do you think that?”

“Why’d you think I was with Beth?” He asked and by the look on his face, you knew he was serious in his question.

“The way you talk about her sometimes… the way you looked when she died… I dunno. I guess I just assumed. I don’t ever see you with anyone else, so…”

“Right,” he growled, “and you should see your face when Rick walks into a room. You light up like a damn Christmas tree. He’s the only one who could get you to do somethin’ you didn’t want to do…”

You felt like the kettle that sat on the stove back home; ready for your top to blow from the steam spiraling through you.

“You know what, fuck you,” you said as calmly as possible and turned towards home. Only taking a few steps, you stopped and turned back to face him. “You know, after yesterday and today, I thought maybe, just maybe, you could be a decent guy. You sat there today and listened to me tell you some of the worst moments of my life, and then you turn around and…”

You threw your arms up in the air, unsure of what you could say to convey how angry you felt.

“Despite those assholes that got in the way, I felt like today went really well. We worked good together. We were getting along. Why’d you have to go say something stupid like that…”

Without giving him a chance to respond, you turned towards home again. This time you didn’t stop until you stepped inside.

[Originally posted by shanahaniganz](https://tmblr.co/ZS1cLk2MUPOfS)

The glow of the light over the kitchen sink was the only illumination in the lower part of the house. Any signs of life that were apparent earlier had disappeared and you found yourself alone in the kitchen. Pacing frantically and mumbling to yourself, you didn’t notice Carol walk into the room.

“Shhhh,” she said, startling you.

“Shit!” You said clutching your chest. “Sorry.”

“Just got Judith down. What’s wrong with you? What happened?” Carol asked going into mom mode.

“Nothing. Everyone’s fine. We got the meds for Carl, Rick is there with him now while Denise tries the new antibiotics.”

“Good,” Carol said looking you up and down, “then why do you look like you are ready to kill someone?”

“Fucking Daryl,” you mumbled just loud enough for her to hear you.

“I see,” she smirked, “What did he do now?”

“Just being his usual asshole-y self,” you said, taking in a deep breath trying to calm down. “Sorry, he just knows the right buttons to push,.”

“Hmmm, wonder why that is,” Carol muttered before flashing you a smile. “Look, I’m going to go check on Carl, can you keep an eye and ear out for Judith. She shouldn’t wake up, but just in case.” Carol put the monitor on the counter and grabbed her jacket from the hook.

“Oh, and if Daryl comes home, please keep in mind the sleeping baby while you two duke it out.” She tossed you another smirk on the way out the door, and you found yourself alone again.

When the door opened a minute later, you thought it would be Carol coming back in with more words of wisdom, or another task to keep you busy. Turning to confront her, you found Daryl instead.

His broad frame was merely a silhouette against the door, but you could still see his chest rising and falling in frustration. As Daryl walked into the kitchen, the soft light above the sink cast a shadow across his face, but his eyes still seemed bright and fixed right on you.

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked as he took another tentative step towards you. “I was a dick.”

You stepped back until your back hit the edge of the sink. You crossed your arms across your chest and wanted to desperately hold onto the anger you felt. But with each step he took towards you, it faded away more and more.

“I don’t always know what to say,” Daryl looked down at his feet. “Most times, I end up saying the wrong thing.”

Drawing in a deep breath he took the last step toward you, placing himself squarely in front of you at the sink. When his hand reached out to pull yours from the clutches of your crossed arms, you gave it to him without argument.

Daryl swallowed hard.

“Reason I ain’t been with anyone was because I didn’t think I could be. For a long time, it was hard to feel anything. When I was out there with Beth, she helped me see that I could… one day when I was ready.”

Your hand felt lost, yet somehow safe being held in his. The feeling of Daryl’s rough fingers on yours was suddenly everything you didn’t realize you needed. You wanted to say something, but the energy Daryl had around him told you that you shouldn’t.

“You’re trying to let us in,” he continued, offering you a soft smile. “You let me in, and I guess when that made me kinda feel somethin’, it scared the shit outta me. So, I did what I do and acted like a dick.”

“Oh,” escaped your lips in a whisper. “You feel something… for me?”

“I know it feels nice to hold your hand,” he said squeezing yours in his. His other hand reached up to touch the side of your face but hesitated. You knew that he was trying to respect your space; trying not to have you flinch from him.

In a split second, you had yet another decision to make. Lean into his touch and confirm the growing ache you felt, or run away… again.

This time you didn’t have to even consider the other options. You leaned your cheek into his touch, closing your eyes and drawing in a deep breath at the feel of him. Your eyes opened just in time to see Daryl leaning into you, inches from your face.

His eyes locked with yours, searching for permission to kiss you. He found it in your expression and leaned in, brushing his lips hesitantly against yours. His mouth opened, ever so slightly to take in more of you, and you happily let him. He let go of your hand and face and let his hands fall to your hips as he kissed you softly. Resting your hands on his chest, he pulled back from you and rested his forehead against yours.

“Daryl…”

“I’m sorry, if it’s too much. I don’t want you to feel… uncomfortable,” he said, sounding nervous.

Your hands started shaking on his chest. Daryl covered your hands with his and held them against himself.

“Is this your way of telling me that you’re ready… now? With me?”

“Mhm hmm,” he nodded, biting on his bottom lip. “I think it is.”

“You think?” You couldn’t help the laugh in your voice.

Daryl smiled, but his expression remained serious. “Yeah, it is.”

He leaned in to kiss you again, and just before your lips touched, the monitor exploded with sounds of Judith from the other room, wide awake and considerably unhappy.

You laughed and leaned your head into his chest. You felt a growl of frustration from deep within him.

“Damn kids,” he said and looked down smiling at you.

“I’ll go,” you smiled and went to walk around him. Before you were out of his reach, Daryl gently grabbed your elbow.

“Hey, don’t be too long,” Daryl said, his voice gruff and low, “Think we’ve both wasted enough damn time already.”


	3. Chapter 3

Twenty minutes after walking into Judith’s nursery, you had finally been able to quiet her back down to sleep. Watching the curly-haired little girl fade off to dream land, you felt a smile grow on your lips.

Once you knew she was out, you left the room and closed the door softly and headed downstairs. When you entered the living room, Daryl was leaning one shoulder against the window sill and looking out over the quiet streets of Alexandria. He’d taken off his leather coat and vest and even looked like he’d changed his shirt.

You stood there for a minute and took in the sight of him. The black button-down shirt clung to his shoulders, right on through to his waist. Seeing him like this, touched with the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the windows, made you feel like it was the first time you were really seeing him. You felt your breath hitch in your throat when he turned and caught you looking at him.

Daryl was nervous. His hands unable to stop fidgeting together as he took slow, tentative steps towards you.

“She good?” he motioned to Judith’s room upstairs.

“Yeah, sound asleep now.”

“Good,” Daryl closed the distance between you but didn’t reach out for you. “Feel any different?”

You smirked. “You mean different from twenty minutes ago? No. I still think you’re an asshole.” Your sarcastic response quelled his nerves and he gave you an honest-to-god smile.

“That’s good, ‘cause I still think you’re a pain in the ass,” Daryl said, finally reaching out and taking your chin lightly in his hands. “But I still wanna kiss you again.”

“I guess that’s better than when you wanted to kill me,” you said with a flirtatious smile.

Daryl may have seemed nervous when you came back into the room, but there were so signs of anxiety when he started kissing you. His lips pressed down on yours greedily, his tongue desperate to entwine itself with yours. But never once did be grab or touch you roughly; your comfort being in the forefront of his mind.  

You moved closer, pressing your body into is. You wanted him to know that he could enter your space without hesitation. Taking your cue, Daryl cupped the back of your head, running his fingers down your neck to your back; finally wrapping both arms around your waist.

Feeling your feet start to pick up off the floor, you kissed him deeper. Not realizing his strength, Daryl squeezed you tight causing you to moan. Afraid he was hurting you, he put you back down.

“Sorry,” he said visibly flushed.

“No, you’re fine,” you said, “I’m good. I won’t break.”

“I know. Don’t think we’d be here if I thought ya would.”

The sound of approaching voices caused you both to take a small step back from each other, and when the front door opened, you both took another step back putting unwanted space in the middle.

He flashed you a quick, sad smile and turned his attention to the rest of your family coming home for the night.

Rick was the first one through the door, then Michonne followed by Carol. Carol was the only one who seemed to realize that they had walked in on something. Pursing her lips together, she smiled at you with raised eye brows.

“You two alright?” She asked. “Not fighting again, are you?”

“Nah,” Daryl said, “just talkin’ bout those warehouses from today.” He threw a look in your direction, and your face flushed warm with embarrassment.

“Glad you’re still up,” Rick said sitting down on the couch. “The meds you guys brought back saved Carl, and I can’t thank you enough for that. Now that I know he’ll be alright, we gotta concentrate on food. The pantry is lower than I thought, and the garden is still weeks away from providing enough for everyone.”

“Whatcha thinkin’?” Daryl asked stepping up next to you to talk to Rick.

“The warehouses. We shouldn’t wait to get back there,” Rick said. “Carl will be fine here with Denise and Carol. I think we should take a group out tomorrow and go. Don’t want to give anyone else a chance to make it theirs.”

“Alright,” Daryl said, nodding. “Who’s all going?”

“Michonne, Tara, Sasha, Y/N, the two of us,” Rick said motioning between himself and Daryl. “And, I’m thinking one or two more.”

“Could grab Glenn and,” Daryl started to say and Rick waved him off.

“They’ve got their hands full now getting the garden set so we can get in a good-sized harvest before winter sets in. We’ll see who’s around in the morning and then set out in two, maybe three cars.”

“We got the gas for that?” Daryl asked, looking back and forth between Rick and Michonne.

“We do, we’re ok for now,” Rick said as he stood up. “Try and get some sleep. We should try and head out as early as we can. If for some reason this doesn’t work out, we don’t want to waste too much time.”

Rick said goodnight and headed up to his room followed by Michonne a minute later. Carol had wandered into the kitchen but was still within ear shot.

Turning to Daryl, you offered him a small, half smile that carried a lot of regret for the recent interruption. Everything in you wanted to get back to what you had been doing with this recently discovered attraction to Daryl. Your body was exhausted, and your need to shower felt overwhelming, but your heart and the fire simmering deep in you was aching to be rekindled.

“I should go shower and get to bed. Seems like we have a big day tomorrow,” you threw a quick look over your shoulder to check on Carol’s location. When satisfied she wasn’t paying attention you reached up and kissed Daryl longing on the cheek. “I’ll see ya in the morning.”

It took all your will power to force your feet forward towards the steps. You wanted to look back at him but was afraid that you’d be unable to get going again.

You managed to get upstairs and grab the shower while there was still some hot water left. You let your head hang down under the cascading warmth of the water and thought back to that moment in the kitchen, then the living room. You tried to remember if there had ever been this attraction before. Half the time you’d known him, Daryl had been short and impatient with you. The other half of the time you thought he was a complete asshole. But the night before, when he put his arm around your shoulders, it was different. No rhyme or reason to it really. It just felt good. Now he and his touch lingered on your mind until the water finally went cold.

You turned off the shower and grabbed your towel. It was a short few steps across the hallway to your small room, but living in what you thought of as Grand Central Station, anyone could be anywhere at any time. Cinching your towel as tight as possible, you opened the bathroom, darted to your room and had the door closed in a matter of seconds.

Before you could dry off and get dressed, there was a soft knock. Standing behind the door to cover yourself as much as possible, you cracked it open to see Daryl standing there, his long, wild tendrils of hair half obscuring his face.

“I just, uh…” Daryl looked down and was visibly shook at seeing you fresh from the shower. Stammering a bit with his words, he finally could get out, “Um, I wanted to say goodnight.”

You saw how he looked at you, and it pushed sleep far, far from your mind. Reaching out for his hand, you pulled him inside and gently closed the door behind him.

“Goodnight,” you said and stood up on your toes to kiss him. Your gesture took him by surprise, but it only took a second for Daryl to return the kiss. It was sweet at first, but once you wrapped your arms up around his neck, your towel began to slip. The more his fingers found your skin, the harder he kissed you.

Being the kind of man that he is, right before your towel fell to the floor completely Daryl caught it and wrapped it tightly back around you before reluctantly pulling away from your embrace. He rested his forehead against yours again, and it filled you with a sense of excitement; the kind you never thought you’d feel again.

“You should get some sleep,” his voice low and raspy. “Like you said, big day tomorrow.”

“Do you really want to leave?” You asked, trying to hide how much you didn’t want him too.

Daryl’s eyes narrowed. He smirked and shook his head lightly.

“Then you should stay.”

Daryl let his arms fall to his side as you started to unbutton his shirt. When you got to the last one, you helped him to slip it off and dropped it on the floor. You caught his eye as you started to unbuckle his belt. His hands were over yours before you could free him of them completely.

“You sure?” he asked with concern. “We can take it slow…”

“No, Daryl, you said it before, we’ve wasted enough time. I’m done with all that… carrying all that around with me,” you nuzzled yourself into his chest, kissing him softly. “This is what I want, now. Who the fuck knows what happens tomorrow.”

Daryl took his hands off yours and cupped your face, kissing you deeply. As his tongue found yours you went back to work removing his pants to the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

You let the towel drift to the floor, leaving you completely exposed to the archer. He stepped back to see you, letting his hands and fingers trace your form down both sides, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

When Daryl’s hand reached the lower part of your stomach, you felt a warm, wet excitement begin to erupt. The need to feel him inside you began to make your head swim. You pulled at his boxers trying to add them to the pile, allowing his full length to crash into you.

Daryl buried his face into your neck and wrapped you up in his arms. Your legs crossed behind him, the tip of cock finding the warmth of your folds. He growled with approval and gripped you tighter.

In one swift motion, Daryl was turning you around, laying you on your bed, and slipping himself into you.

“Oh fuck… Daryl,” you cried softly in his ear. He thrust himself into you deeper with each groan of gratification. He had his muscular arms still wrapped around you in a bear hug, face buried deep in your neck.

Daryl let his tongue explore your neck, down into your collarbone. You entwined your fingers into his hair, and when he would leave biting kisses in that sweet spot right below your ear, you pulled him tighter into you.

Your first time together was quick, but explosive. Daryl’s hips rose and fell into you, your nails leaving their mark along his arms and back. You felt his body start to shake and his large hands holding onto you for dear life.

Daryl growled your name over and over as his body and yours came to completion one right after the other. When your bodies finally relaxed to a place of exhausted satisfaction, Daryl laid beside you in the bed and pulled the sheet up to cover you.

“You’re cold,” he said, rubbing his hands all over you trying to warm you.

“I’m not cold,” you said with a half grin and weariness thick in your voice. “I’m happy.” You felt the warm of Daryl’s body as he pulled you closer to him. The last thing you felt before drifting off to sleep, was the gentle kiss he left on your forehead.

 

Your eyes opened to a room filled with sunlight, and the sound of light snoring beside you. In the hazy moments between sleep and waking, you thought it had been a dream. Daryl was laying on his side next to you, his arm draped loosely across your stomach. You didn’t want to move. His face was covered by his hair, but you studied him anyway, watching each rise and fall of his chest.

One night with Daryl, and you felt like you were waking up to a brand-new dawn. There was a feeling of hope and excitement at what came next. But right for that moment, you wanted this to last just a little longer.

Daryl started to stir, his eyes opening and focusing on you. A smirk played at the corner of his lips, like maybe he thought it had been a dream too, but just realized how real it was.

“Mornin’,” he grunted, as he sat up and shook the hair from his eyes.

“Morning,” you smiled back, suddenly feeling shy around him.

You leaned him to kiss him, and the sound of your door opening causing you to jump back and pull the covers up before you could.

“Well, I guess yesterday was a fluke…” Carol said as she once again bounded into your room without knocking.

“Carol!” You shouted and looked at Daryl, his face flushed with embarrassment.

Carol saw you in the bed, then a moment later noticed Daryl. In all the time you’ve known her, seeing Carol off her game wasn’t normal. Her expression after realizing what had happened there was one you’d never see again and part of you enjoyed the fact that you made her speechless, especially after all the speeches she’d been giving you lately. It didn’t last long though, as her surprise gave way to a smirk.

“Well, took you long enough,” she said shaking her head, face still slightly flushed. Carol turned back towards the door. “I’ll be sure to make something extra for breakfast. Clearly you two will need the extra sustenance for today’s run.”

After she left, Daryl rolled over and buried his face in your neck. When he finally could look at you, his face was still flush, but he was smiling.

“So much for keeping it quiet,” he said, starting to sit up.

“Is that what you were hoping for?” A moment of doubt started to trickling in.  _Maybe it was just about sex_ , you thought,  _maybe all he wanted was_ …

You sat up and moved next to him on the edge of the bed. Daryl rubbed his hands over his face and sighed a low purring growl.

“No, I don’t,” he said putting his arm around your shoulders. “Just not ready to let the world in here, that’s all.”

You felt yourself melt back into him. The familiar feeling of not wanting to leave your bed set in, but this time the reasons were exponentially different.

 

The smell of the oatmeal and eggs rose from the kitchen, causing both you and Daryl to feel your stomach rumble. After getting dressed you went downstairs together to find almost everyone in the house eating breakfast in the kitchen.

Rick nodded a greeting in your direction as you entered the kitchen, followed by Daryl.

“Morning,” you replied without meeting his eyes. You looked over at Carol who was busying herself with Judith and completely avoiding your gaze.

Everyone ate quickly and quietly. Once breakfast was done, Rick and Daryl left with Michonne to get the cars ready, but you stayed behind for a moment.

“Carol, about this morning…”

“No need Y/N. Really, you’re both adults, you do what you want. I’m certainly not going to stop you,” Carol said without much inflection, but you noticed she still wouldn’t meet your eyes. You turned to walk out, but her words stopped you in your tracks.

“You need to be careful with him Y/N, you aren’t the only ones carrying some pretty heavy demons on your back.”

You felt your shoulders stiffen and wanted to turn and confront her with what she meant, but decided it was better just to walk out. Carol, of all people, knew Daryl the best, and if there was any hope of this man staying in your life, sparing with Carol wasn’t the way to make it happen.

When you reached the front gates, three cars were lined up and ready to go. Your run group was huddled around Rick as you finally caught up to and joined them.

“Three buildings, three groups of three to each building. Daryl will lead the way there. Stay close and no stopping unless necessary. We don’t want to run into the trouble Daryl and Y/N did yesterday.”

You quickly looked at Daryl, who was already staring at you. He offered a small smile with the corner of his mouth and looked back to Rick.

“What kind of trouble?” Tara asked looking between you and Daryl.

“Just some guys trying their luck,” you said before Daryl could give details. “They’re dead.” The words were cold and callous but still made you feel a familiar twinge of disgust.

“Alright, let’s head out. Daryl, you and Y/N take the lead. Everyone else piles into a car and let’s go.”

The caravan moved out towards the warehouses and made good time getting there. As Daryl drove past the now dismantled bodies of the men who attacked you the day before, you barely flicked a glance in their direction. It helped that as you approached the scene, Daryl’s right hand left the steering wheel and rested on your thigh. As if he just wanted you to know he was there. His eyes never left the road, but his touch was just what you needed.

When you arrived at the warehouses, the gates were still closed and no additional walkers had shambled over during the night. Rick used the bolt cutters to relieve the perimeter fence of his heavy lock and chain, allowing the caravan to park right in front of the buildings. You watched as your leader looked around cautiously. He wouldn’t send you off to scout the buildings until he knew that it looked clear.

“Alright,” Rick said turning back to the group. “Me, Michonne and Sasha, we’ll take this one” he gestured over his shoulder to the Sombra building. Daryl, Tara and Rosita, you head over to that one.” Rick pointed towards the one next to the pharmaceutical building. “Abraham, Spencer and Y/N can go through this one here.” Rick motioned to the last of the three that hadn’t been checked.

“No,” Daryl said quickly, cutting Rick off before he could say anything else. Daryl pushed his shoulders pushed back puffing out his chest as if ready for a fight.

“No?” Rick asked Daryl looking confused.

“Yeah… I said no.” Daryl growled matter-of-factly. “I’ll go with them,” he said motioning to you and Spencer. “Let Big Red here go with the girls.”

“Fine,” Rick continued, knowing not to push his friend. “Let’s go. Stay together and be safe. Meet back here in two hours.

As the groups broke off in their assigned directions, and you saw Spencer approach Daryl.

“Daryl,” your body tensed as Spencer called his name. “You don’t trust me.”

Narrowing his gaze, Daryl slung his crossbow over his shoulder and sidled up to Spencer. “That a question?” he asked angrily.

“No, it’s a statement of fact,” Spencer replied calmly. “What I don’t get is, why?”

“If you think for one second, I’m trusting her life in your hands,” Daryl said nodding towards you, “man, you’re dumber than I thought.”

You felt your face flush with excitement at the sight of Daryl being protective, but it also caused you a moment of pause. What happened between the two of you the night before had been life changing, but if it meant that he suddenly thought you couldn’t take care of yourself, this whole thing wasn’t going to end well.

“I can take care of myself you know,” you said, eyes fixed on the archer.

“Yeah, I know. I trust you. It’s him I don’t. Come on, let’s get this done.” Daryl turned and walked towards the building without another word.

The three of you made quick work getting into the building and searching the first few offices. A brief sweep of the main floor led you to believe that there would be nothing of real value in this building. A culmination of standard offices, conference rooms and computer stations proved nothing useful to bring out to the cars, but when you breached a locked door at the end of a hallway, you, Daryl and Spencer felt like you just hit the jackpot.

Five metal shelving systems were laid out down a long dark corridor. Daryl turned on the flashlight and confirmed what you had hoped - shelf after shelf had been full of a variety of canned goods all with the same manufacturer label. As you slowly made your way through the darkness, you caught glimpses of canned fruit, beans, vegetables, soups, and children’s pasta.

You were about to ask Daryl how you should go about getting it out when Spencer yanked at one of the shelving units. When it wouldn’t budge, he yanked at it harder.

“Stop,” Daryl said in a rough whisper. “You don’t need to move the shelves man. Start grabbing some cans and fill your packs, we’ll go get the others to come for the rest.”

Not listening, Spencer pulled again and this time it was enough to bring the shelf forward along with the one next to it; tipping at the top and crashing down towards you. Spencer jumped out of the way just in time as the cans crashed to the floor, some hitting you in the arm and foot; the shelf just missing you by inches. Daryl grabbed your arm, pulling you away in time.

As soon as the echoes of the cans hitting the floor stopped bouncing through the hallway, the sounds of the moans grew louder. Panicked, you looked up at Daryl, who’s hand was still gripped tightly on your arm. He pointed the light down the hallway to see the first few walkers headed in your direction. The wave of their groans became louder as a dozen more started coming around the corner.

“Shit!” Daryl yelled, turned and pushed you to go up and over the fallen shelves. Spencer was already heading for the door out to the bigger office.

“Help her!” Daryl yelled at him. Spencer hesitated and finally turned back and helped you get over the shelf. Once you were safely over, Daryl hurled himself across the metal and away from the small herd heading towards you. The three of you scrambled to get beyond the door and slammed it shut.

Without missing a beat, Daryl charged at Spencer, grabbing him by the collar and pushing him up against the wall.

“I told you to stop!” He snarled inches from Spencer’s face. “You coulda got us killed. You coulda got Y/N bit!”  
“I’m sorry! I thought I could…” Spencer started but Daryl cut him off.

“I give a shit what you thought,” he said, rage still heavily painted on his face. “That dumbass move nearly got us trapped.”

“Daryl,” you said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “Babe, look at me.” Even in the heat of the moment, it wasn’t lost on you that you just outted your new relationship to yet another person. Your voice seemed to be enough to break his grip on Spencer. Daryl let him go and you could feel his shoulders heaving with rough, short breaths.

“Hey, look at me,” you turned his face towards yours. “I’m fine. We’re all fine. We’ll get the others and take them out. Cans aren’t lost… we can still…”  
“I don’t care about the damn cans, Y/N, I care about you. I told this prick to stop. He didn’t and ya almost got hurt.”

An odd mix of feelings stirred in you, and as much as you wanted to lay into Daryl for several reasons, you knew it wasn’t the time. You felt an overabundance of love radiating off him as his panic for your safety boiled over in an angry confrontation with Spencer. But underneath was the worry that Daryl didn’t really think you could handle the dangers of the world beyond the gates. Maybe he still thought you were a sad, pathetic girl who needed constant supervision.

You tried to push the negative thoughts away, and just pulled Daryl into am embrace.

“I’m fine,” you said quietly into his chest. “I’m still here.”

 

Once Daryl had calmed down, Spencer got Rick and the others to come help clear the hallway and retrieve the loot being guarded by the dead. Out of the three warehouses, each group found enough supplies for all the cars to be full upon the return to Alexandria.

Olivia greeted you at the pantry as Rick, Daryl, Spencer, and Abraham unloaded the supplies into her care. When you walked into the garage and saw the haul all spread out, you felt a sense of accomplishment and pride. It didn’t matter that there was another close call that day. Seeing what you had been a part of bringing back for the community helped to fill that part of you desperate for a purpose.

“If you need help with organizing all this, I’ll be around tomorrow and can come by,” you said to Olivia as she placed a box on the floor near your feet.

“That would be wonderful!” she smiled at you. “You guys really got a good score today! Between this and the garden, maybe we’ll actually get through the winter ok.”

“I’ll be by after breakfast tomorrow, ok? We’ll get it sorted out,” you waved good night and headed out to the gazebo. Hearing your name, you turned to see Spencer standing behind you.

“What’s up Spencer?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’m really sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to get you hurt. I never thought he’d get that mad,” Spencer glanced over at Daryl.

“It’s fine Spencer. I didn’t get hurt.”

“Ok well, I just wanted to apologize. I want to help out there, you know. I want to provide for this place. It’s all I have left of my family.”

“I know Spencer. We get that. Just… well, maybe next time follow our lead, ok?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said and turned to the sound of Daryl walking towards you. “Well, goodnight,” he said and scurried off before Daryl could lay into him again.

“What’s he want?” Daryl asked sounding annoyed.

“Nothing important. Just sayin’ sorry for today.”

Daryl was quiet for a moment. He watched Spencer walk back to the last car being unloaded and sighed.

“I’m sorry I got angry,” he started to say, but you held up a hand to stop him.

“Daryl, stop. Please don’t apologize for being concerned for my safety, or for having a reaction to Spencer. I just need to know that you trust the fact that I can protect myself out there. Because no matter how fucking great last night was… and no matter how much I want it to happen again, it can’t if you are going to constantly stand in front of me.”

“I ain’t just gonna let you get hurt,” he said and you could see him tense in frustration.

“Not what I mean,” you placed your hands on his chest, his body relaxing to your touch. You looked up at him and found his eyes beneath the wisps of hair trying to hide them. “I promise, if I am in trouble, I will call for you.”

Daryl grunted in frustration but nodded his head.

“Look, I don’t know what’s happened over the last few days. But between the spark that Carol lit under me, and having you in my bed… it was like the magic combination. I get it now. I want to be a part of all of this,” you said motioning to the community around you. “I want to wake up with a purpose; to get out beyond the walls and find what we need to help take care of these people…”

You paused and grabbed the edges of his vest, pulling him closer to you.

“And, even though I can’t stand you most of the time, I want you to be the reason that I fight to make it home every night.”

Daryl was so close to you, the heat of his breath caressing your face. He bent down to kiss you, but you pulled away at the last second.

“You hear me, Dixon?”

“Mhmm hmm,” he said, resting his hand on the side of your neck. You felt his fingers wrap around and get tangled in your hair. He was pulling you into him, and even though you slightly resisted, he didn’t let you get away.

As Rick, Spencer, and Abraham looked on from a far, Daryl kissed you hard and with intention. They quickly dispersed to their respective homes and the streets of Alexandria were quiet and empty.

When Daryl finally let you go, his hand still caressing your neck, he bit his lower lip and studied your face.

“Alright. So, we go do our own thing, maybe not always out on runs together. This way I don’t have to watch you do stupid shit out there,” he said, with a raised brow and playful smile. “Just as long as you promise to come back to me.”

“I promise to fight like hell each and every time,” you said, raising your eye brows at him. “And you?”

“Let someone try and stop me.”

Daryl took your hand and led you back to the house. Once you were inside, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around your legs. He brought you upstairs to your room and closed the door.

As he placed you down gently on the floor, you were hit with how much you loved him. Letting Daryl slowly undress you, driving you mad with each second he made you wait, you found yourself telling him in soft whispers over and over, just how much love you felt. Later, after you brought your bodies together again, it was his turn to tell you in the same hushed murmurs just how much he had fallen in love with you.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next few weeks, life found a new rhythm that suited you just fine. Daryl, Rick, Glenn and Michonne took most of the runs beyond the walls. You took out separate groups to hunt and got into the habit of teaching them how to set traps, check snares and use the surrounding woods to their advantage.

Supplies were always a concern so Rick pushed the groups to go out further and further in the hopes of finding something sustainable. Sometimes it meant their group would be gone for two or three days at a time. Those were the hard days. Just when you thought you couldn’t deal with the anxiety of waiting for Daryl to come home safely, the headlights would shine on the gates and you knew they were back.

That’s how life went. You’d wake each morning, most times with Daryl lightly snoring next to you. After breakfast, you would say your goodbyes and head off on your respective runs. On the rare occasion, you did go out with Daryl beyond the walls, it usually broke down into a disagreement of some kind because he thought you were being reckless, or you thought he was being an asshole. You would get frustrated with him, throw him an attitude and he would call you a pain in the ass.

All it would take though is one flirty look or an inadvertent brush of his shoulder against yours, and you would find a safe, secluded spot to tear into each other. When you didn’t have to worry about being in the overcrowded house, having to muffle the sounds of satisfaction as Daryl devoured every inch of you, it brought out something in him that you didn’t realize existed.

Daryl grew much more ravenous for you with each day you spent together. Whether you were around the community or beyond the walls, he would find any chance to pull you aside to have a stolen moment. Life had become an unending cycle of passion, frustration, and determination to keep going – to keep living.

It was during one of these stolen moments that Rick stumbled upon you and Daryl. They had just gotten back from a three-day run, and once Daryl had found you, neither of you could wait to get back home before ripping into the other.

He saw you walking from the infirmary towards home, and before Rick could get the car in park, Daryl was jumping out and grabbing you around your waist. He held you tight, burying his face in your neck and taking in a deep breath of you, and lifting you off the ground in the process.

Rick exited the car, shaking his head at you and the archer.

“This man is ridiculous Y/N,” Rick said with a sarcastic smile, “three days of whining to get home… I don’t know what you did to him, but could you please snap him out of it.”

“No, sorry Rick. I’m gonna keep him just how he is,” you said smacking Daryl’s shoulder so he would put you down.

“C’mon,” Daryl said as he took your hand and practically yanked you down the small path between a few of the houses. When you rounded the corner and saw the walkway was empty, Daryl grabbed your face with both of his hands and kissed you deeply. There were no gentle, teasing kisses this time as his tongue made quick work of parting your lips and getting a taste of you.

Three days away had felt like weeks, and you could feel how much he missed you too. It was just as Daryl had you pushed back against the siding of a house, his hands now up in your shirt desperate to touch the soft skin of your breasts, that Rick walked around the corner and found you pawing each other.

“Uh… hey,” Rick said turning his head from you both until you could fix your top. “Sorry to interrupt, but can I steal him for a moment? Only be a sex. Shit, sec.”

You’d never seen Rick blush before, but it was something you’d never forget.

“Sure,” you laughed and reached up to kiss Daryl’s cheek. “He’s all yours.” You turned and winked at your boyfriend before heading back out to the main road. Unable to wipe the smile off your face, you leisurely strolled home knowing that in just a few short hours, you would have him all to yourself in the privacy of your room.

[Originally posted by shanahaniganz](https://tmblr.co/ZS1cLk2MUPOfS)

 

Dinner was still a valuable time in the house if Carol had anything to say about it. Supplies had been plentiful lately, and the meals were more than anyone could have asked for. In honor of Rick and Daryl’s return, she made a venison casserole with fresh garden vegetables and some homemade bread thanks to the large supply of yeast and flour the run group found earlier in the week.

As you and your family broke bread and laughed together, you caught Daryl looking at you. His gaze fixed on your face, half a smirk playing at his lips. He looked like he had the world’s best secret, and was foaming at the mouth to share it with you.

It wasn’t until later up in your room, and after you and Daryl had reunited the way that lovers tend to do, did he tell you what secret he was keeping.  
Sitting up on the bed, he bent down to his pants that were crumpled on the floor. From deep within the pockets, he pulled out two keys.

“Here, you’re gonna need these,” he said placing them in your hand.

“What for?” you inquired.

“Our new place,” Daryl said and smiled as he lay back against the pillow.

It was your turn to sit up straight in bed. Your eyes wide and mouth slightly agape as you stared at the keys in your hand.

“ _Our_  place?”

“Yes ma’am. That’s what Rick wanted earlier, to give me the keys. I talked to him about it when we were out this last time.”

“So, just us… no Carol. No, Michonne… Carl… No Judy?”

“Yeah, that’s what ‘just us’ means…” he couldn’t help but tease you.

“You’re an asshole,” you exclaimed as you playfully hit him in the chest, “But you’re my asshole.”

You placed the key on the table by the bed and poured yourself on top of Daryl.

“Do you know what this means?” you asked as you traced your fingers across his chest.

“No, what?” he said, closing his eyes as your fingers lingered up towards his collarbone. Before answering you bent down and used your teeth to gently nip at the little X tattooed on his shoulder.

His hands immediately grabbed onto your hips, pulling them down into himself.

“It means that we can finally try out these big ass showers… with no fear of prying eyes barging in. It means I can have you in any room, at any time that I wish. And… it means that you have to start helping me clean the bathroom and kitchen.”

As you laughed at your own joke, he smacked you on the ass and flipped you over onto your back. He was drinking you in and trying to hold off from having his way with you again.

In that moment, you were struck at how differently life changed course, how much you loved him, and how much it was going to hurt when it all eventually ended. Pushing that last thought from your mind, you let Daryl use his fingers, his tongue, and his lips to tell you all the things he couldn’t with actual words.

[Originally posted by dixonscarol](https://tmblr.co/ZCafon2Ewke6c)

 

The next day, Daryl and Rick were doing perimeter checks while you were off checking out your new home. Walking into the townhouse, you felt a sense of relief knowing that this was the place you were going to be coming home to every night; the place that Daryl will be coming home to.

Once all your personal belongings were put away, you headed over the pantry for a few items to stock the shelves with. Olivia happily gave you a basket and told you to take what you and Daryl would need for a few days of rations. As you were trying to decide between a few canned soups, you spotted Carol walking through the aisle.

“Hey Carol,” you said offering her a half-hearted wave.

“Y/N,” she said, her voice sounding cheery, but her face telling another side. Carol watched as Olivia made her way back inside to the army, and Carol took your arm, pulling you aside.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, lips pursed and eye brows raised.

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” you were genuinely confused.

“You and Daryl… you’re moving out?” Carol’s face was a mix of shock and disbelief. “Why? Why would you do that?”

Taken back by her question, you placed the basket down on the floor and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Do you really want me to answer that question?”

“Yes,” she said. It had been a long while since you saw Carol so bothered by anything.

“Well, let’s start with the fact that the house is full of people. All the time. Second, there is never hot water, because… too many people. Third, Daryl and I never get quiet time there. We always gotta sneak off somewhere and its gettin’ old. Are those enough reasons for you?”

Carol glared at you, and you felt frozen in place. You would never admit to anyone how much she intimidated you, but you had to stand your ground.

“You better not hurt him,” she said suddenly, eyes never wavering from yours. “Daryl is important to me. I’ve watched him get beaten down by people who claimed to love him, like his brother. I saw how devastated he was after losing Beth… I don’t want to see him hurt anymore.”

That old anger was still there, boiling under the surface. You were angry that she felt the need to protect your boyfriend, from you of all people. More so, you were angry that she thought you would intentionally hurt Daryl ever, for any reason.

“This is what I don’t get. You’re the one that told him to talk to me all those weeks ago. You sent him to me… to help me, remember? You wanted me to find a god damn purpose, a reason to live. Well, I did. And before you say another word, Daryl isn’t the  _only_  reason, but he is the biggest one I found.”

“That was as much for him as it was for you,” Carol said, her body language was more relaxed, and her shoulders were softer. She looked down at the floor, deep in thought. When she brought her gaze back up to you, a small pooling of tears had gathered. The back of her hand swiftly swatted them away, and she found her composure.

“Carol, I have no intention of ever hurting him. I know how lucky I am, trust me. I get it. That night when he first asked me to sit on the porch and talk… he put his arm around my shoulder. It was only for a moment, but in that moment, I felt it. He was the first person to ever touch me that didn’t make me feel the need to shower. He was the first man since those bastards raped me at Grady that I could stand the thought of being with!”

Your voice was getting louder now as you were finding it hard to stop the explosion of emotion that was building and your eyes began to well up with tears at the mention of Grady. You hadn’t cast a thought in its direction since that day on the road because you had found a way to let it all go.

“But, most of all… I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, Carol. Happier than I was before, or after the world died. So, whatever you are afraid of me doing to hurt Daryl, trust me… it ain’t gonna happen. Granted I still want to kill him most of the time, but I also love the shit out of him. I know you do too. Let’s just call it a wash, ok? We both love him, and we can both look out for him. But if you ever get in my face again, and question my feelings or level of commitment to Daryl, again, we will have a much bigger problem to deal with.”

You stormed away from Carol, leaving your basket of food and backtracking through the house and armory. Had you turned around and went the other way, you would have seen Daryl standing there, leaning against the frame of the garage watching your confrontation with Carol.

[Originally posted by reedusgif](https://tmblr.co/ZF8fZt1-_8ZmD)

 

It was dusk when Daryl found you sitting in your usual spot in the gazebo. The irritation that built up earlier had faded, and you just felt sad about what happened with Carol. You knew you’d have to find her and work things out, but in that moment, you just needed space to clear your mind.

Daryl walked up to you and sat down on the bench. Without saying a word he lifted his arm and you melted into the crook of his arm. His hand gently rubbed the back of your neck as he rested his head on yours.

“Rough day?” he finally asked.

You simply nodded and just enjoyed the quiet moment with him.

“I saw you talking to Carol in the pantry,” Daryl said and you looked up at him, surprised.

“Oh? And how much did you hear?”

“Enough,” he said, kissing the top of your head. “Enough to know she was givin’ ya a hard time. She’s just protective is all.”

“I know, I do. I love that about her. But,” you push yourself up and off him, “it’s frustrating. She loves you so hard, it’s like she believes no one else will ever be able to do it too.”

“Do you?” Daryl asked, his blue eyes fixed on you in a way that drove you crazy.

“Do I what?”

“Love me.”

You stared at him, trying to think of a way to show him that would get your point across, but also not get you in trouble for screwing in the gazebo. Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out your knife and knelt on the wooden floor. Daryl watched you as your hand moved feverishly back and forth against a panel of the gazebo wall.

When you finally stood up and moved aside, Daryl saw that you carved both of your initials and encased them in a heart. You knew it was somewhat childish, but the kind of love you felt for Daryl could only be described as having the fire and passion of forbidden lovers and the sweet innocence only found in one’s first love.

Shaking his head, Daryl stood up and once again left a kiss on your forehead. “What the hell am I gonna do with you?” he asked, a playful gleam dancing in his eyes.

“Whatever the fuck you want.”

Back at your new place you and Daryl made use of the privacy by trying out your new shower. For the next few hours, he made sure to get his fix of you in every single room. By the time you laid your head on your pillow, your body was spent and exhausted; your brain swimming in the ecstasy of primal satisfaction. Had you known it was the last time you and Daryl would have been together that way, you would have pushed sleep aside and allowed him to take you again, and as many times as he wanted after that.

[Originally posted by teamlucille](https://tmblr.co/Zl-AGe2LOc7Ca)

 

The first morning in your new home with Daryl, was pure bliss. You had quietly snuck downstairs and made him breakfast to carry back to your room. Afterwards, you both wanted to just stay in bed and enjoy the quiet of your new place, but there was work to be done and you both had responsibilities that could not be pushed aside.

Rick, Daryl, and Abraham were heading out to the construction site where the wall panels were originally obtained. They all wanted to expand the community but wanted to be sure there were enough walls.

Your task was to take out a group to hunt out in the woods a few miles up the road from the gates. As the autumn days grew shorter, there were more deer walking through those woods and you wanted to get as many as you could.

Rick and Daryl’s group were gassing up by the front gates while your group was headed to the armory to get their weapons.

“Hey,” you said as you happily walked over to Daryl as he put the gas can down.

“Hey yourself,” he gave you a quick wink before turning towards the trunk. “You headin’ out?”

“Yeah, just waiting for them,” you said motioning towards the armory.

“Who’s all going out today?” Daryl asked, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the bright sun.

“Tara, Spencer, Tobin…”

“Spencer?” Daryl’s whole body tensed at the mention of his name.

“We’re back to this again? I don’t trust this guy Y/N, he’s gonna get someone killed.”

“Stop Daryl. He’s fine. I’ve taken him out a half a dozen times now. Trust me.”

“I do,” he said, but the wild look in his eyes didn’t dissipate.

Looking past Daryl towards the gate, you saw Rick getting into the car with Abraham.

“You better go, babe, they’re gonna leave without ya,” you smiled, and kissed him goodbye.

“Let’em. I’ll come hunt with you,” he said seriously.

“Stop. Go with Rick, I’ll see you tonight. I love you, you asshole.”

You turned and walked away from him without looking back. The last thing you heard Daryl say before getting in the car was, “I love you too, you pain in the ass.”

For the third time in an hour, you had to tell Tobin to tread quietly through the underbrush. He was nervous and unusually loud. In the few time he’d made the trip to hunt, he seemed more confident in what he was doing. You started to think that Daryl should have come hunting with you after all. 

Spencer took the lead through a narrow trail, followed by you, then Tara, with Tobin bringing up the rear. There were no walkers in sight, and when you came to a small clearing, it struck you as to where you were. To the right, you saw the familiar trail that led to the thicket where Daryl got the buck the first time you went on a hunt with him.

Even though he had almost gotten bit, you couldn’t help smile at the memory of how happy he had been and how cute his smile was when he realized it hit the deer after all. Lost in the memory, you didn’t hear the shouts right away.

It wasn’t until Tara was grabbing you by the shoulder, did your attention come back to the present. In the mess of brush, several walkers were clawing and thrashing at Tobin. One had his shirt firmly wrapped in its bony talons, the other was gnashing its teeth at Tobin’s neck. Spencer was trying to rip him away from the walkers while Tara charged at them with her knife.

You rushed in, your knife also drawn and aimed to slice through one of the dead heads. As you lunged forward, the muddy soil gave way beneath your feet. You fell to the ground hard, banging your head on the edge of a broken stump. At the same moment, Spencer was able to free Tobin from the walkers, while Tara finished what you tried to start.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you started to stand up when a decaying hand broke through the brush, grabbing at your shirt.

Things began to move in slow motion.

You tried to swing your hand with the knife across your body to stab the walker’s head, but the sleeve of your shirt was caught on the fallen stump. Tara was above you, shouting your name while Tobin and Spencer seem to be frozen, watching in horror as the walker’s face breaches the thicket, his mouth full of rotting teeth directed at the upper part of your thigh.

By the time Tara’s gun was aimed and firing at the walker, the pain exploded in your leg and blood soaked your jeans as the undead corpse buried its teeth in your flesh. You screamed in pain just as the sound of the rifle bounced across the trees and exploded its brain into a million pieces.

The rest of it was fuzzy as you floated in and out of consciousness; the pain excruciating. You heard Tara calling your name, begging you to stay awake… almost home… hang in there… Daryl needs you….

When you woke again, you were in the infirmary. The pain was immediate, but there was also the heat. You felt the heat more than the pain. It started in your leg, and you could feel it spreading through every vein in your body. That was the moment you knew that death was coming.

The tears came then. You knew you had to get them out before you saw him for the last time. You cried for the time that was lost, the time that was wasted. As you closed your eyes, muffled voices started to fill the room. The last thought you had before passing out again was wondering how pissed Daryl was going to be at you for getting yourself bit.

[Originally posted by thefandoms-rt](https://tmblr.co/Z1HGRi1-BtG5Y)

 

Rick, Daryl, and Abraham approached the gates of home tired and ready to call it a day. Leaving the car outside the gates, the three men entered only to be greeted with solemn, long faces. They shared a look of concern between them before Rick turned to Rosita and asked what happened.

“There was an incident…” she started, but Rick cut her off.

“Carl? Judith?” he asked in a panic.

“No, they’re fine.” Rosita cast her eyes to the ground.

“What then?” Rick asked, “someone hurt?”

Rosita didn’t answer. She lifted her eyes and looked at Daryl with big, heartbroken eyes.

The moment he saw her expression, he knew.

“Where? Where is she?” He yelled at her, ready to run off in every direction.

“Infirmary… but Daryl, wait!” She called to him, but he was already gone sprinting across the courtyard and pushing his way through the infirmary door. She turned to Rick to tell him what Daryl didn’t want to hear.

“She get bit?” Rick asked, rocking back on his boot heel. “Is it…I mean, can Denise…”

Rosita just shook her head, while Rick’s whole body slumped forward, causing him to lean his hands on his knees for support.

Daryl stood over you, speechless. The fever had been burning for only a brief time, but he could already see that it was too late. The blood-soaked sheets and clothing were the signs he needed to know your fate; the fever was just confirmation.

He pulled up a stool and sat down next to the hospital bed. Taking your hand in his, he watched you sleep. Daryl was oblivious to the people coming in and out of the infirmary until he felt a familiar hand rest on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Carol said, squeezing his arm. “I’m so, so sorry Daryl.”

“Mhmm hmm,” was all he could manage.

“She was lovely, stubborn…”

“Was? She ain’t dead yet,” he snarled back at her, shaking her hand off his shoulder.

“You loved her,” Carol said matter-of-factly.

“Can you just go, please?” He didn’t have the strength to look at her, and she knew it. Without another word, Carol left her best friend to be alone with the woman he loved.

You felt your eyes flutter at the sound of a closing door. When you finally got your eyes to open, you saw Daryl sitting there holding your hand. Seeing you wake, he grabbed the water and guided the straw to your mouth.

“Easy,” he said watching you drink with desperation. “Easy baby.”

“I’m sorry,” you choked out, your voice a ghost of itself.

“No, don’t,” He either couldn’t or didn’t want to hear it.

“Daryl,” the pain ripped through your veins causing your temples to pulse with images of snarling teeth.

“Shh, don’t talk. Just rest,” he took the cool wet cloth Denise left and gently wiped your face with it.

“We shoulda stayed home in bed,” you said, trying to smile. God how you needed to see his smile.

“Maybe next time you should listen to me.” Daryl tried hard to give you what you needed, but his veil cracked, sadness oozing through in waves.

“I want to tell you, you’ve given me everything,” you said squeezing his hand. “I’m sorry I have to go… I’m sorry I don’t have more time with you. You gotta stay a bit longer…”

Between exhaustion and the fever, you could feel yourself starting to spiral. There wasn’t much time left and you still had one last thing to do for Daryl.

“Y/N, stop… please,” The sadness in his voice nearly broke your resolve from doing what you had to do.

You reached up your hand and ran it through his hair one last time. Brushing the strands from his face, you smiled, “Kiss me.”

He did. Daryl leaned in and kissed your lips as gently as he ever did and even in your current state, the amount of love and passion you shared filled every inch of the room.

When you finally parted, you had one more request of him.

“Can you get Carol, please? I need to say something to her.” 

Daryl simply nodded and as he went outside to retrieve Carol, you called out to him, “I love you, asshole.”

Carol came back in alone, and for that you were grateful. The fever was moving fast as the infection raced through your veins. You didn’t want to waste any of the last few moments, so the second she was within reach, you grabbed her hand with the little strength you had left.

“Listen, I know you have a gun. Give it to me,” your eyes begging her to do so without question. “I won’t let him be the one to do it.”

She nodded in understanding and without a word she pulled a gun from the back of her pants.

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked.

You shook your head, tears burning down your cheeks.

“Make sure he’s ok. He’ll need you.”

“Of course,” she said and offered you a sad smile. “Thank you for what you’ve done for him Y/N, I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time.”

“Don’t be,” you couldn’t help but laugh. “You gotta be a tough bitch to love that man. That’s how I know he’ll be ok. He has you.”

Carol nodded and turned to go.

[Originally posted by delusionallysupernatural](https://tmblr.co/Z-Mpps1dfLukB)

 

Out on the porch, Daryl was leaning over the railing, head buried in his hands. When he heard Carol come out, he stood up to go back in but she stopped him with a hand on his chest and one on his arm.

“Lemme go!” he yelled at her.

“No, Daryl… don’t,” Carol’s eyes finally began to fill with tears when she saw the realization dawn over Daryl’s face. He stopped fighting her for a moment, but it was enough of a moment for the gunshot from inside the infirmary to shatter the silence.

One look at Carol and he knew what she’d done; what she had helped you do. Rick was standing next to Daryl when his knees buckled and he slumped to the floor.

“I’m so sorry brother…” Rick said through his own well of emotions. He wrapped his best friend up in his arms and sat there as Daryl cried for his loss. One by one, the people that shared your home and table rallied around the man you loved as he tried to make peace with your death. 

[Originally posted by sonandheirofnothinginparticular](https://tmblr.co/ZOITvx1xbPCed)

Almost eight months had passed since Daryl lost her. Her face was always the first thing he thought of in the morning, and the last thing he thought of at night. Her voice, her laugh, the way her hands felt on his skin… Daryl took her with him wherever he went. Now that he was leaving, he needed one more thing to take so she could stay with him forever.

Daryl parked his bike and dropped his gear on the asphalt near the gazebo. He’d been in there at least once a day, every day he was in Alexandria since she died. Now, he stood staring at the plank that barred their initials. Closing his eyes, he thought back to the day she’d done it. His breath caught in his throat as the memory crashed down on him like a summer storm.

A breeze came through and gently lifted the long strands of hair from Daryl’s face. Turning his face up into the night air, he imagined her touching his cheek as she had done so many times before.

“Hey,” he said to the emptiness. “I feel ya here.”

Daryl sat on the bench and looked out over the community he had called home for a long time now. The houses and streets looked the same as they did on the first day his group walked through the walls, but it all felt different.

Since she died, everything felt different.

“Y/N,” Daryl said looking up to the stars above, “it took me a while, but I see now why you had to go when you did. I still fucking hate it. But it was on your own terms, so I gotta be grateful for that. All the shit that’s happened here since you…” Daryl paused as a sob caught in his throat.

“…the Saviors didn’t hurt you. At least that psychopath never touched you. Not all our people were lucky, but I guess you know that. If I had lost you to them, I don’t know if I’d still be standin’ here.”

Daryl took a cigarette from his pack, tapped it out and let it sit gently between his lips as he dug back in the pocket for his lighter. Once lit, he took a long drag and imagined her again. That first night they spent together…  _she sat right here_ , he thought touching the place where she once was. She smoked a cigarette with him, and they argued. But they always argued. He wished he had told her how badly it turned him on when she fought with him.

He smiled. Thinking of her now always brought a smile.

“It’s hard being here baby, damn near impossible to be here without you. Livin’ here in our place, I see you everywhere. I can’t do it anymore, so, I’m gonna go help Maggie at the Hilltop. Gonna help her and Jesus with the baby… whatever they need. I owe it to Glenn. I owe it to you.”

Daryl took another long drag. He watched as the smoke twisted and turned into the night air, swirling up in the vast emptiness of space. He stood up and took the small crowbar from his inside pocket. Daryl worked at freeing the board that held the carving made by the love of his life.

“Besides, I made ya a promise. I ain’t gonna get lost. I can’t. But if for some reason I do, I got you up there as my north star if I do lose my way. Right?”

Daryl sighed and dropped the crowbar to the ground. Tucking the plank into his coat he looked up again and closed his eyes so her face would be right there where it always was.

“I think… shit.  ** _No one ever said it would be this hard_**. But, even with how things shook out, I’d still do it all over again. If I could just  ** _take us back to the start_** , not waste any time. Tell ya that I loved ya the second I felt it…” Daryl’s head hung low, mourning for the love he had and lost.

Walking to his bike, Daryl put his pack across his shoulders and secured his crossbow on the back of his bike. He looked around the empty streets of Alexandria to all the places where he and his friends had made countless memories, both good and bad.

The breeze came through again, and on it Daryl caught a subtle hint of her scent. Taking in one more deep breath, Daryl revved the engine on the bike and pulled out to the front gate.

As Daryl waited for the gate to open, he took one last look up at the sky. Shining big and bold above him was the north star.

“Guide me home baby,” he said and took off down the street towards his new purpose.


End file.
